I know... you're thinking, "How the hell can you love AND hate yourself at the same time??".
It's actually a pretty frustrating place to be.
This year, I've promised myself that I'd take better care of ME.
Mental Health
Physical Health
All the things.
The first step in that journey was figuring out the best course of action to fix my teeth and have a smile I'm not afraid to hide anymore. Between a lack of self-care, poor dental hygiene, 2 pregnancies with hyperemesis (blaahhhhh), breastfeeding for 18+ months, smoking, and a totally crap diet... my teeth took a MAJOR hit! I've let it go untreated for so long that my teeth are literally disintegrating. I'm embarrassed. I'm angry at myself. I'm depressed about my ugly ass smile.
I HATE MYSELF.
I hate that I've let it get this far. I hate that I didn't take better care of myself. I hate that I've put myself in a position where my only option for getting a more beautiful smile is DENTURES...
Dentures at age 34!! What in the actual fuck?!? I could literally crawl into a hole and die.
BUT... I LOVE MYSELF!!!
I love myself enough to forgive the "old me" that didn't take care of herself. I love myself enough to put on my big girl panties and do what needs to be done for my health. I love myself enough to appreciate this journey and use it as a reminder to NEVER let myself down again!
Friday is the big day!! They're yanking all of my top teeth and sticking a new set of pearly whites up there. I won't lie. I'm nervous as hell. Recovery is gonna be a bitch, especially with these little 600mg ibuprofen they gave me... Luckily, the mouth heals FAST!
I'm looking forward to a new, beautiful smile!
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